We’ve all heard the phrase, “Be yourself,” and for many, that’s easier said than done. It’s not easy to show all sides of yourself - the good, the bad and sometimes the ugly - without feeling vulnerable and fearful of rejection.
Letting go of that fear can be challenging but also life-changing.
I used to associate vulnerability with weakness. More often than not, I would rather pretend everything’s OK than have to deal with my uncomfortable emotions, or worse; be judged by them. My head swam with limiting beliefs and negative thoughts:
- I'm a Life Coach - I must be strong!
- What will they think of me if I break down?
- Will I fall short of their expectations?
- They won't understand
- I feel shameful, out of control and embarrassed
- I'm not good enough
But when you think about it, vulnerability is actually an act of bravery - it takes courage to be real.
It’s about being stronger than the fear of judgement, rejection and shame. It’s committing to awkward conversations when we’d rather change the subject. It is raw, messy and hard. But vulnerability is often beautiful and filled with “me too!” and "a-ha" moments.
When we let our walls down and we share our truth, vulnerability connects us to each other like nothing else.
Here are 5 Ways Vulnerability Made Me More Beautiful:
1. I CREATED DEEPER CONNECTIONS
There is an inspiring TED talk by Brené Brown called
The Power of Vulnerability
where she talks about how important vulnerability is to establish connections between people. As she said, it is when we share that we can connect. While I was listening to her speak, I was reminded of how it was in my most vulnerable times that I bonded with people (sometimes by surprise) who felt the same way I did.
Everyone has a struggle of their own. You are not alone. But when you don’t open up about what’s going on, you don’t make room for deep connections or help to appear.Being vulnerable is not just opening up to other people, but also opening up to yourself. It’s about being more aware and accepting of yourself.
2. I REALISED IT’S OK TO BE IMPERFECT
There is no such thing as perfection. It is unobtainable and the appearance of it is fake. No one can reach you (nor will they want to) if you place yourself up on a pedestal looking down on others. When we share our imperfections with others, we open up the door for other people to be vulnerable as well.
With social media, we tend to think that others have the perfect life … they certainly portray it in their feeds. The thing is, we forget that we don’t know the whole story. That is why it is so refreshing to see someone you follow talk about their struggles, imperfections and flaws. The truth is, no one has it all together. There is always someone out there who is going through similar things and can relate to your story.
3. I FOUND THE COURAGE TO ASK HELP - AND FOUND IT!
One of the hardest things for most people to admit is that they need help. But what vulnerability taught me is that it is only when you are willing to admit that you need help that you will find it, and make room for growth to enable you to move forward. It can be easy to trick yourself into believing “everything’s ok” and “I will figure it out on my own,” but sometimes you just can’t do it alone .. and there is no shame in that.
4. I BECAME MY OWN BEST FRIEND
I fell in love with my own company. When you stop relying on others for your happiness - you also stop putting pressure and expectations on your relationships, and they start becoming more enjoyable. It was always in those moments when I pushed myself to be something that I am not that I felt the most most alone. Becoming my own best friend has put an end to that. At the end of the day … no one has to love and accept me - but me.
If you feel you can’t be truthful and have to play pretend to feel accepted by those around you … my darling, you are with the wrong people. Authenticity and staying true to who you are is much more important for your mental well being ... it is also more attractive to others. An original is always worth more than a copy!
5. BY BEING VULNERABLE, I ENCOURAGE OTHER PEOPLE TO GROW
Letting my guard down and being more open and vulnerable helps me to help others open up and find their own ways to embrace change. As humans, we long to be heard, understood and accepted, and you will only achieve true connection by being vulnerable. You will be challenged and you will grow from it, therefore; inspiring others to do the same.
I will leave you with a Brené Brown quote:
“Vulnerability is not winning or losing.
Its having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.
Vulnerability is not weakness; it's our greatest measure of courage."